I want to elaborate more on my post from last week. There's a difference between excuses and limitations. When I was sick this week, there was no way I could keep up with the house. I just did the bare minimum, which really is still a lot with the kids, but my routines and chores went out the window. Thankfully my inlaws were here and they took care of the house and older kids so I could rest a bit. I can't label sickness as an excuse for not getting things done, it's a real limitation. Sometimes other things come up too that are real limitations, that you can't control. Like appointments and emergencies, for example. Sometimes you just can't do it all, and that's ok. Don't kill yourself just to keep a clean house. But what I was talking about was excuses I make that aren't really valid. I try to rationalize and validate myself in my head, but I know I could do better. Like, honestly, there really is no reason that I can't read my Bible every day, exercise, do my cleaning routines, keep my kids' faces and bums clean, spend time doing "school", make meals relatively on time, tidy the house at the end of the day, etc. I'm a stay-at-home-mom, this is my job. It's just easy to get lazy, and/or let the fatigue get to me, when I could easily get over myself with some discipline and willingness to work hard.
I am the type of person that can't handle failure though. So if I screw up one day, it sets me off for the rest of the week, and I just want to quit altogether. What motherhood has taught me, and I am continuing to learn, is that all I have is this moment. All I can do, is make the best of THIS moment. I can stop being lazy and complaining right NOW. I actually can do that, I have the power. It doesn't matter what I did yesterday, this morning, or a minute ago. Maybe it was bad. But it's gone forever, nothing I can do about it, but I CAN change what I am doing NOW. There's no point in dwelling on it, just pick myself up and start over, wherever I can. Getting SOMETHING accomplished is better than nothing, even if I can't do everything. This is a hard concept for me, believe it or not, but starting to practice it has been very liberating. It's grace. Not a license to be lazy or put my work off until later, but the freedom to chose to do the right thing right now. Sometimes I can't do it all, but I need to do what I can.
I still stand by what I wrote in this post as well. It's important to always remind myself what is truly important and urgent, but also organize my time and discipline myself to get the mundane things that need to be done accomplished as well. This is my new challenge for myself.