Blurrrrr

Sorry that I haven't been around much since we got back from our trip. Things have been... busy. I didn't realize how hard this was going to be. Not only do I have all 3 kids to take care of 100% by myself 24/7, but I also have to take care of Dave, making him food, keeping the kids from jumping on him, putting on his socks... Sometimes I forget about him as I'm preoccupied with everything else, then I feel bad. They had to open him right up for the surgery, and staple him back together. It's like he's healing from a c-section! I guess this is good doula practice. Although he actually gets to sleep and doesn't have to breastfeed.





Our trip went fairly well. I had a lot of fun at the ranch and it was great to see my friend Jen (and have her to help with the kids, I don't think I would have survived the first 24 hours post-surgery without her)! Judith suffered a minor (but seemed like major at the time) injury, stretching me to my limits, but we survived. She managed to scrape all of the skin off the top of her toe under a door, it was nasty. But it was nice to be out in the country, and see TREES! The kids loved the horses, and the other kids who lived at the ranch. The drive down, and half of the drive back, was great, I love driving out of the city, I find it therapeutic. The kids slept most of the drive too. On the way home it got stressful though, we drove into very strong winds and rain, making it hard to see and control the van. The temperature also dropped 20 degrees (Celsius) in a really short time. But we made it. My poor nerves, hands and shoulders were the only casualties.





Friday I attempted to go out with the 3 kids, but it was a big fail. I cried a lot. Sunday I tried again and succeeded though! But it was exhausting. Everything has been kind of a blur since we got back, honestly.

The house has been a disaster since we got home, I haven't been getting much sleep, and haven't been eating much/well. I've been really frustrated and short-tempered. Judith's behaviour has actually been ok since we got back, thankfully, she has been really hard to deal with since she turned 4 but during and since the trip she has been better. Well, until today.

Today everything just really got to me. The kids were incessant and would not leave me alone, I could barely think or function. Let's just say, I had a very bad Mommy day. I feel terrible. It takes a lot to get me to openly freak out, but my kids have skillz. I finally kicked the kids outside against their will (I would have rather just physically kicked them, but this seemed like a healthier alternative), then organized and took out the garbage and recycling. I started to cool down, feeling better having finally gotten something done, then I heard a scream, and opened the door to see this...



Seriously, if anyone here needs a facial, it's ME! I was ready to wave the white flag, but instead I tried to laugh and I took a pic. Then ran the bath. Then Gideon and I had cookies (Judith lost cookie priviliges because of the mud thing). Then Judith offered to help me clean up the kitchen and living room (they were disasterous, a major contributor to my stress), so that's what we did. Now the place looks normal again, Judith is making popsicle-stick puppets, Gideon is playing with his puzzles, Ruthie is nursing, and I am finally getting a chance to go online. So I am trying to breathe, while I can.